*Ahem*

Dear creepy guys of New Orleans,

Yes, I fully understand the fact that the ratio of males to females in this city has changed drastically in the past few months. And I also understand that in some of your minds, girl = reason to act ridiculous. Just allow me to state for the record that by following that logic, YOU'RE NOT WINNING COOL POINTS.

I am not a prostitute, lady of the night, streetwalker, nor am I available for you to "pick up." For your information, we are hosting a job fair at my school today, and I work for the hosting office. So yes, I am standing on St. Charles Avenue directing recruiters and interested students. Yes, I am wearing a dress. Yes, I have a "womanly body." But no, that does not mean I am interested in you, your large pick-up truck, your creepy, crust-stached friend sitting next to you, or your techno music that you blast when you drive by. Honking, whistling, and cat-calling will not win you a lifetime of eternal bliss with me, a date with me, or even more than a moment of my time...all I will give you is this blurb on my blog. No dates, no kisses, no romantic evenings with candle-lit dinners.

You should probably know that I employ two very large and hairy henchmen named Duke and Bones, and that they don't like it when you ogle me. And when Duke and Bones aren't happy, no one's happy.

So do yourselves a favor...if you're looking for a "good time," please call an escort service and leave me out of it.

Sincerely,

Sarah (the girl in the black and white dress you passed by seventeen times today while leering out your window)